MY MIND WANDERED — and never came back!

First up in this week’s News of the Crazy, it seems that a drunken man and woman were arrested in Ypsilanti Michigan after they were caught pushing a baby stroller that held two small boys, open containers of alcohol, and a bayonet.

At this point I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “How big was that stroller anyway?”

I have no idea.

Anyway, the police were called after the woman tried to steal a bicycle from a porch in the neighborhood. Officers found the woman’s two small boys in the stroller along with the double edged bayonet and the alcohol. The man and woman were arrested and the children were turned over to relatives.

I’m thinking that the one-year-old and four-year-old should not be charged with alcohol possession and going armed, but who’s to say. Criminals start out young these days.

Also, in other “baby” news today, Jail officials in California say a father accused of trying to sell his baby for $25 outside a Walmart is recovering after other inmates beat him. (Like we’re really concerned about his health at this point.)

The thirty-eight-year-old father is accused of approaching two women Wednesday and asking if they’d like to purchase his 6-month-old baby.

He and his twenty-year-old girlfriend were arrested a few hours later at their home, and Child Protective Services took the baby.

Unconfirmed sources say that in keeping with Walmart’s policy, the man later rolled back the price of the baby to $19.95. (Actually, I just made that last part up).

Finally, in other news, police in Lakemoor, Ill said a 30-year-old woman apparently fell out of a third-story window, landed on her parked car, and then walked into a neighbor’s house, where she fell asleep on a couch for two hours. According to her family members, it is believed that the woman woke up before dawn Thursday and fell through the screen while opening a third-floor window, bounced off the hood of her car, walked through a neighbor’s open garage door and went into the house.

The neighbor found her asleep two hours later and called 911.

The woman, whom police have not identified, was taken by ambulance to Centegra Hospital-McHenry. According to the report, the woman was not suffering from any life-threatening injuries.

And I thought I was the only one who could sleep that soundly.

I’ve often wondered why the color blue is associated with being sad, depressed and lonely. Blue should be a happy color, like blue skies or the blue water in a swimming pool on a hot summer day or a beautiful blue moon. Unless of course, when they call it the blues, they’re referring to a very dark, deep blue, in which case it wouldn’t be blue, it would be navy.

Personally, I would consider purple more of a sad color. Purple reminds me of bruises, and stormy skies in the evening, and the veins in my first ex-husband’s neck whenever he got angry.

However, the word purple wouldn’t sound very fitting if you were singing about being low-down and sad. You can’t sing the purples like you can sing the blues. Who ever heard of a Rhythm & Purples band anyway?

For instance, imagine B.B. King or Bessie Smith belting out the following song:

“Mama’s cryin’ in the kit—chen ’cause dad–dy ran a–way
sister’s chop–pin’ cot–ton, brother’s out bail–in’ hay
and I got them low–down heart brea–kin’ purples!”

Now that is just silly. Unless you could change the next-to-the-last line to rhyme with purple, as in: “Brother’s out collec—ting Maple syrupel.”  But that would be silly too, of course, because we all know that almost no one collects their own Maple syrup from trees anymore.

Maybe we could swap it out for the color yellow. No, wait, yellow is already being used to describe someone who is afraid — like a big old chicken or a girl.

Red? No. That color implies someone is wearing a wife-beater shirt, drinking beer, driving a pick-up and shooting up road signs.

Green? No, that’s used to describe someone who is new at something, or ignorant, or someone who recycles.

What about black? Oops, no. The NAACP frowns on that. They call it racist.  White? No, that’s frowned upon too. They call that supremacy.

That doesn’t leave many other choices, except blue or purple, or possibly orange, but orange is already over-used and nothing rhymes with it. And besides, if you said someone had the oranges, that would imply a whole other meaning.

So, I suppose we’ll just have to say that we green, yellow-bellied, red-necks, whether we’re black or white can still get the blues sometimes, even though we have lots of oranges.

We’ll just leave purple out of it.

Unless, of course, someone wants to disagree, start an argument about it and have their neck veins turn purple.

Head over to Theme Thursday and see what other bloggers said about the color “blue”